Lessons from my 30s…

Y’all. Right after my birthday things got crazy busy. Wrapping up another academic year. Planning an intervention research project. Family stuff. An unexpected transition. Trying to revamp sharlendipity. Everything seemed to come to a head all at once.

So I’ve taken some time away to really think about the direction of my life, particularly as I’ve reached this milestone year.

We often spend time trying to keep up with everyone, scrolling through social media and using what we see others around us doing a barometer for where we should be in life. We think about what others will say, how we are perceived, and sometimes live our lives aiming to please or keep up with the next person. I know I’ve done it. But lately, I’ve been taking my focus off others and looking more deeply into my calling as a daughter, sister, wife, mother and friend. Shifting my mindset, although challenging, has brought on new freedom. So as I’m a few months into my personal year, these are the things I’ve learned and am putting into practice.

Giving myself more margin.

I’m still focused on my word purge and I’m purging in more areas than I initially anticipated. I’ve been systematically going through my closet and after every laundry batch I’ve been getting rid of more things. I did break my shopping fast and bought some simple pieces, such as jeans and tops, because a lot of my clothes are now too big. Heeeey! But my husband has challenged me for every piece I’ve bought, two items need to leave my closet. I’ve been getting rid of things in droves and the margin it has created has been tremendous.

Investing more in relationships and not things.

Things are replaceable. People aren’t…so instead of the pursuit of things I’ve been focused on spending more quality time with those who are important in my life. Time is so fleeting and it’s critical to invest in the people that matter. Creating margin has applied to this too. I’m the kind of person that will pour into relationships, sometimes to a fall and I’ve found, particularly at this stage in my life, that some relationships are seasonal. And that’s perfectly okay. It took some time for me to get here, but when you’re pouring into something that doesn’t reap fruit, is it worth it? So I’m becoming more and more at peace with relishing in the memories those friendships created and moving forward in cultivating the relationships that are for the long-haul.

Giving myself more grace.

I’m so hard on myself and tend to focus on my failures rather than my wins. But when I sit back and look at all that God has done, my focus, along with my mindset, begins to shift. This also happens when I don’t use the accomplishments of others as a measure of my success. It’s hard, I know, but it’s necessary!

Reframing and redefining my purpose and life goals.

Throughout this reflection period I have been taking stock of my next steps and in the quiet moments have been gaining more clarity. Clarity regarding my personal and professional goals and how sharlendipity will continue to meet the needs of women, particularly those of color. I’ve had some awesome conversations with people like you, trying to discover what people want from a stylist or styling services. I’ve gained invaluable insight about frustrations, insecurities, joys, and needs. I considered giving this a rest permanently, but connecting with people has really helped me to redefine the services I’ll be offering and I hope to continue serving many of you in the future. I have some awesome things in store…so keep trudging with me. Thanks so much for accompanying me on this journey and for your constant support.

Until next time…

Photography: CThru

Dress/Shoes: ModCloth (here and here)

Accessories: Pearls (Jcrew)

Leather Gloves (Amazon)

Clutch Purse (Gifted)